Things I Didn’t Do
I didn’t write a dark book, oh no.
These are the kinds of things that happen to women every day. These are the lives they are living. My heroine Allie has a daughter who she loves. She has an apartment that isn’t much, but it’s hers. She has a steady job doing something she loves—baking. She has a best friend, the kind would stand by her through anything, and who has done so.
I didn’t write a controversial book, no ma’am.
Allie also has a past. Who doesn’t? She’d like to forget hers, but she can’t, not when her daughter was the outcome of that painful night. Since the man who betrayed her was her best friend… well, she doesn’t want to press charges. Let it go.
But neither does that magically heal her, of course. She knows better than to trust. She can’t handle intimacy, but she can’t stop herself from reaching for it. Like a heat-seeking missile, she’s drawn inexorably toward the very thing that will destroy her.
Oh. That’s probably dark. And controversial.
Damn, my internal censor must be buggy. *bangs it with a hammer*
But to me, these things aren’t really dark or controversial. They aren’t taboo. Why should they be, when every day women face these same tough choices, make the same decisions, become stronger?
Who is out there telling us we can’t talk about it? Who is out there saying that women can experience these things, struggle through these things but not to talk about them? I must have missed the memo.
Objectively, I know it’s a dark book. I see that some of these topics are not welcome in polite society—they must skulk in the corners and the shadows, as if it’s something to be ashamed of.
I was being a little facetious earlier, but I don’t want to misrepresent what it is. This book lifts the rock, exposing the harsh realities to sunlight. But there’s also the sprouting of hope. It’s inherent; we can suffer, not just to survive, but to find happily ever after.
This is a book for people who want their boundaries explored, their buttons pushed. This is a book for people who want their fiction like real life: hard, wacky and deep. The question is: is it a book for you?
Allie prowls the club for a man who will use her hard and then ditch her. Hey, it’s not rape if she wants it. Instead she finds Colin, who looks tough but treats her tenderly, despite her protests.
He tempts her, but kindness and a few mindblowing orgasms aren’t enough to put her back together again. Allie has no hope for a real relationship. Two years ago her best friend betrayed her in the worst possible way – she’d be stupid to trust a man again. Besides, she has her daughter to think of, the only good thing to have come from that dark night.
But when her rapist returns, threatening her sanity and custody of her daughter, Allie turns to Colin. Under his protection and patient touch, Allie begins to heal and learns to hope. Colin’s no saint, though, and his criminal past draws danger of its own. Allie must fight to protect her child and the man she loves, hoping her newfound power will be enough to save them all.
Available from: http://www.loose-id.com/Giving-It-Up.aspx
There’s a certain sultry walk a woman has when she’s bare that can’t be faked. No hose and no panties. The nakedness under my skirt was as much about keeping me aroused as it was about easy access.
I’d perfected the art of fuck-me clothes. A surprising number of men asked me out, even at a grungy club on a Saturday night. Cute little college girl, they thought, out for a good time. I saved us all time by dressing my part.
Tonight’s ensemble consisted of a tight halter and short skirt with cheap, high-heeled sandals, bouncing hair, and bloodred toenails. The scornful looks of the other women didn’t escape me, but I wasn’t so different from them. I wanted to be desired, held, touched. The groping fingers might be a cheap imitation of intimacy, its patina cracked with rust and likely to turn my skin green, but they were all I deserved.
My gaze panned to the man at the bar, the one I’d been watching all night. He nursed a beer, his profile harsh against the fluid backdrop of writhing bodies. His gray T-shirt hung loose on his abs but snug around thick arms.
His expression was unreadable, but I knew what he wanted. What else was there?
He glanced over but didn’t hit on me. I didn’t know why I kept tabs on him either. I wasn’t exactly discerning. I was trolling for sex, not a life partner. There were plenty of men here, men whose blackened pasts matched my own, who’d give it to me hard.
A woman approached him. Something dark and decidedly feminine roiled up inside me.
She was hot. If he wanted to score, he probably couldn’t do better, even with me. I tried not to stare. She walked away a minute later—rejected. I felt unaccountably smug. Which was stupid, since I didn’t have him either.
Maybe no one had a chance with this guy. I was pretty enough, in a girl-next-door kind of way. Common, though, underneath my slutty trappings—brown hair and brown eyes were standard issue around here.
I glanced up to see a cute guy wearing a sharp dress shirt checking me out. Probably an investment banker or something upstanding like that. Grinning and hopeful. Had I ever been that young? No, I was probably younger. At twenty-two I felt ancient. The world had already crumbled around me and been rebuilt, brick by brick.
“Sorry, pal,” I said. “Keep moving.”
“Aww, not even one dance?”
His puppy-dog eyes cajoled a smile from me. How nice it might feel to be one of the girls with nothing to worry about except whether this guy would call tomorrow morning. But I was too broken for his easy smile. I’d only end up hurting him.
“I am sorry,” I said, wistfulness seeping into my voice. “You’ll thank me later.”
Regret panged in my chest as the crowd sucked him back in, but I’d done the right thing. Even if he were only interested in a one-night hookup, my sex was too toxic for the likes of him.
I turned back to the guy at the bar. He caught my eye, looking—if possible—surlier. Cold and mean. Perfect. I wouldn’t taint him, and he could give me what I craved.
Amber Lin loves to read angsty romance with plenty of sex, so it was no surprise that her debut book turned out to be erotic romance set against a dark urban landscape. She writes with one rule in mind: it has to get worse before it can get better. She lives with her husband, son and passel of puppy dogs in the great state of Texas.
Book Video link: http://youtu.be/5NQ7NTuzFFI
COMMENT TO WIN!
- One randomly drawn winner from each blog will receive a Giving It Up Swag Pack, which includes romance trading cards, a signed cover flat, a signature soap bar for showers together handcrafted by AnaBanana Creations and a $10 Amazon gift card.
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