Being submissive in my personal sex life felt like a shameful secret for many years. I’m not shy about expressing myself, and I’m not actually very good at deferring to people outside the bedroom. I also really love boxing and other violent hobbies. It felt incongruous to be sexually submissive, like that was the one place where I failed as a feminist.
Not only that, I got uncomfortable any time I had to admit to my preferences. The increasing mainstream familiarity with BDSM has helped quite a bit with this problem, but I’ve definitely had some awkward experiences going to doctor’s appointments with rope burn on my torso, or having a family member notice a suspicious bruise. “I like for my partner to hit me sometimes” still sounds like a cry for help to a lot of people.
Being submissive in a BDSM relationship, however, really isn’t about being weak at all. Physically, a submissive often endures restraints and pain, sometimes to an extent that isn’t for the faint of heart. Emotionally, a submissive has to be responsible for communicating clearly and promptly with the dominant about how things are going. This can’t be done unless the submissive has personal boundaries and knows how to defend them.
For all that I worried that embracing this side of myself would mean giving in to weakness, I’ve found that being in this type of relationship calls for a lot more strength of character and honesty than I had to use in previous relationships.
I try to remember this while writing BDSM. Though some popular depictions of BDSM involve shy virgins being schooled by older men, my characters rarely fit that stereotype. In my latest book, The Fugitive’s Sexy Brother, the heroine is sexually submissive, but she’s also a badass bounty hunter who could easily beat the hero in a fight. He dominates her because she lets him, and that’s always clear. I enjoyed writing her because it reminded me that submission is a choice, and it works best when it comes from a place of strength.
Climbing into the passenger seat of her car, Emily lowered her body into an intimate straddle. Javier gave a satisfying moan. “I’m doing this for my pleasure,” she said. “Think you can help with that?”
“I’m willing to risk my life trying, ninja lady.”
She rolled her eyes at the nickname. “You can stop talking anytime.”
“What? I thought it was my clever banter that got me into this enviable position.”
“Hardly. I’m actually falling for the checkered past and mischievous smile.”
“Whatever works,” Javier said, then took her advice and used his mouth to nibble down her neck instead of forming words. Emily moaned and arched her back to offer more of her skin to him.
Yanking her tank top over her head, he sucked her nipple into his mouth, using hints of teeth that sent piercing aches through her body.
Emily leaned as far back as his hands would allow, savoring the increased tug on her breasts. “More, please.”
Javier grinned against her chest and bit down a little harder. She wriggled and pulled back even more. The ache in her nipples flirted with becoming real pain. She winced and sucked air in between her teeth. “You okay?” Javier murmured.
“Very okay. I like for it to hurt a little.”
Cold air across her wet nipples startled her. Emily jerked back to reality as Javier sat back.
“Emily. Do you like getting spanked?”
“I like it.” She let a challenge flash through her eyes. “If you can manage it.”
“If I can… You do like getting spanked.” Javier flipped her over before she had time to react. In the cramped passenger seat, Emily had to twist to avoid hitting her elbow on the parking brake. “I’ve been waiting all morning for an excuse to get you out of these shorts.”
Adrenaline thrilled through Emily’s body. “Make me, Javier.” She tossed a grin over her shoulder at him.
He smiled back. “You see, I told you I was willing to risk my life for your pleasure. You promise not to kill me?”
“How about I promise not to kill you too hard?”
“You definitely need to be spanked.” Javier yanked the waistband of her shorts down over her ass, bringing her panties down with them. Emily shrieked and pretended to swim forward through imaginary water. She flailed in the direction of the driver’s seat but didn’t budge from his lap.
“Oh, you are letting me win,” Javier said. His palm cracked against her bare ass. Emily shrieked a lot more realistically, and the quality of his touch changed in a second. He stroked her stinging skin softly. “You still happy, Emily?”
She growled and arched up against his hand, wanting him to make her ass heat and prick with ever-increasing arousal. “Don’t let up on me until I tell you to.”
“If you say so…” He gave it to her as hard as she could have wished, rapid staccato slaps raining down until she lost all sense of time. She squirmed and cursed in his lap, but Emily didn’t ask for mercy and he didn’t give her any.
The blows hurt but she held herself in place, sensing pleasure waiting on the other side of the sensation. Already, every sharp strike spread forward from her ass, seeming to settle in her clit. She propped her hands against the sedan’s cup holder and pushed her ass higher, daring him with her posture to keep it up.
With her curses quieted, Javier began to talk, short sentences ground through clenched teeth between smacks. “Now. You have gorgeous nipples. You are gorgeous. It’s not flattery. It’s not trickery. It’s the truth. Understand?”
“I’m tough, not pretty.” Emily had accepted this long ago.
“You’re both, honey.” The pace of Javier’s blows slowed, but each one landed more heavily than before. “Just like this pretty ass of yours. Turning such a pretty red for me because you’re tough enough to take this hard spanking.”
Emily Boysen is sick of low-level bounty hunting jobs that don’t pay her rent, and sick to death of her ex-boyfriend taking credit for her work. Ready to claim her due, she takes on the quarry of a lifetime, the notorious Fernando Bonavita. But instead of the fugitive, she captures his sexy younger brother, Javier.
Javier Bonavita never wanted to know the truth about his older brother’s activities, instead protecting him out of loyalty. When he uses his hacking skills to pose as Fernando, he never expects to uncover crimes he can’t stomach. Beautiful Emily has no idea how glad he is to be in her custody—as long as he’s her prisoner, he doesn’t have to face his brother.
Passion flares between Emily and Javier, and soon he’s putting the handcuffs on her. Suspicion grows along with their feelings, though. A sinister plot centers around Fernando, and untangling it will test their loyalties to the limit.
Annabeth Leong has written erotica of many flavors. She loves shoes, stockings, cooking and excellent bass lines. She always keeps a new e-book loaded on her phone and a paperback stashed in her purse, but her eyes are still bigger than her stomach whenever she visits a bookseller. She blogs at annabethleong.blogspot.com, and tweets @AnnabethLeong . Watch for her next contemporary erotic romance from Ellora’s Cave, Get Laid.
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