Thanks for having us over Lucy. As purveyors of fine, literary erotica, we greatly support the work you are doing at Erotica For All!
Our newest erotica anthology, entitled Nice Girls, Naughty Sex was just released, and the title has inspired some interesting conversation — particularly about what it’s like for women when we get pigeonholed as either a “nice girl” or a “naughty girl”. Most women have experienced The Madonna-Whore Complex in one form or another, and as women who work in the erotica business, we find the complex can be much more pronounced and…well…complex!
At first glance, Samantha, who is a petite blond with rosy cheeks, freckles, and big blue eyes, appears to be a sweet, innocent, nice girl. When asked, men often guess she’s a school teacher or a librarian, which always brings a laugh when people find out that she’s co-owner of OystersandChocolate.com. This is all fine and dandy until the assumptions extend into the bedroom. She once had a boyfriend who took forever to kiss her on the lips. He would only kiss her on the forehead and when she asked him about it, he replied, “You’re so sweet, that’s all you need right now.” She should have kicked him to the curb right then. During a different relationship, she was a little disappointed to discover that her sex life was lacking in the “dirty” factor. She asked her lover to give her some good dirty talk. He tried, blushed, and then confessed, “I just can’t do it honey, I can’t talk to you like that. You’re too sweet.” It didn’t last with that guy, either.
On the flip side, at first brush, Jordan can appear like a sultry, naughty sex goddess. With her flowing, red hair, bodacious curves, and colorful tattoos, men make her out to be a wild girl (interestingly, one of the reason she has tattoos is because she’s shy, and they’re a great icebreaker). Unfortunately, especially when she was dating, men would assume that she would jump into the sack right away, sometimes even without the courtesy of buying her dinner (tsk, tsk!). The man who won her heart didn’t make any assumptions about her sexuality and got to know her for who she is (an entrepreneur, an author, a mom, a friend, and a great lover) instead of pigeonholing her as the “nympho redhead” who works in erotica. And he now gets to benefit from both her wild and her sweet ways.
The truth is, we’re both nice and we’re both naughty — such is the complexity of every woman out there. A sweet-looking woman may just love acting the depraved, sex slave in the bedroom. A naughty looking lady may just love being treated as such — a lady. A bookish librarian may also own the title of “Swinger of the Year.” An erotica writer may also be a cupcake-cooking soccer mom. Women are well-rounded people who enjoy being both nice and naughty, and blessed is the man who embraces both sides!
Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade are co-creators of OystersandChocolate.com and authors/editors of five sex books. Their newest erotica anthology Nice Girls, Naughty Sex is available online and at bookstores.