Alfresco sex: the rulebook by Josephine Myles
My first novel, Barging In (out yesterday!) features a tongue-in-cheek product warning for alfresco sex, so I thought I’d share some thoughts on that while blogging here today.
- Don’t forget that sex in public places is illegal in many countries. Of course, this only serves to make it even more exciting…
- Do make sure you’re wearing easy access clothing. It can be a right pain to get your jeans off when wearing big boots – especially if it’s muddy underfoot. I suggest getting custom made stripper-style clothing, with Velcro rip-apart seams. One minute you’re a respectable hiker – the next you’re naked from the socks up!
- Don’t forget to bring a blanket – preferably one of those ones with the pvc coating on one side. You can leave this uppermost for kinky vibe. The libido dampening effect of getting sand or pine needles in your intimate areas is not to be underestimated.
- Do remember to be a good boy/girl scout and always be prepared. An assortment of condoms, lubricants, dildos and handcuffs take up a surprisingly small amount of pocket space and can be useful in all manner of circumstances, such as, er… if you need to perform a citizen’s arrest or help someone who has their head stuck between railings.
- Don’t forget that noise carries surprisingly far in the great outdoors. If you’re a screamer, you might want to pack a gag or risk being interrupted by well-meaning hikers coming to your rescue. You could always improvise one with a couple of balled up socks, but if you’ve been hiking in them they probably won’t taste too good.
- Don’t forget to bring something to clean up with. Damp clothing doesn’t half chafe your bits, especially if it’s a fair hike to get back to your car.
- Don’t forget the official sex-in-the-countryside code: leave nothing but bumprints, take nothing but x-rated video clips.
When the boat’s a rockin’, don’t come knockin’!
Out-and-proud travel writer Dan Taylor can’t steer a boat to save his life, but that doesn’t stop him from accepting an assignment to write up a narrowboat holiday. Instead of a change of pace from city life, though, the canal seems dull as ditchwater. Until he crashes into the boat of a half-naked, tattooed, pierced man whose rugged, penniless appearance is at odds with a posh accent.
Still smarting from past betrayal, Robin Hamilton’s “closet” is his narrowboat, his refuge from outrageous, provocative men like Dan. Yet he can’t seem to stop himself from rescuing the hopelessly out-of-place city boy from one scrape after another. Until he finds himself giving in to reluctant attraction, even considering a brief, harmless fling.
After all, in less than a week, Dan’s going back to his London diet of casual hook-ups and friends with benefits.
Determined not to fall in love, both men dive into one week of indulgence…only to find themselves drawn deep into an undertow of escalating intimacy and emotional intensity. Troubled waters neither of them expected…or wanted.
It was dark under the trees. As Robin waited for his vision to adjust, he concentrated on listening. There was a faint splashing sound off to his right, and he waited until Dan was finished before clearing his throat.
A dark shape detached itself from the shadows and moved towards him. The next thing he knew, arms were snaking around his waist and he felt warm breath on his cheek.
“Robin? I hope that’s you.” Dan’s voice was low and seductive, but he held himself back as if expecting Robin to make the first move.
“It’s me,” Robin whispered, not trusting his voice to stay steady. All he could concentrate on was the press of Dan’s warm body against his, the scent rising from him, sweet and heady. His hands rose of their own accord, pulling Dan’s head closer as he closed in for a kiss.
Dan tasted of lager and marijuana, with that underlying sweetness Robin remembered from before. He moaned into Dan’s mouth, growing hard so fast it was painful. He grabbed hold of Dan’s arse and pulled him in tight, willing him to feel how much he wanted him. Dan responded by grinding his hips, and their erections rubbed together with an intense friction. Made Robin want to rip Dan’s clothes off and have him on the damp leaf litter.
But Dan had his own ideas, and Robin found himself stumbling backwards as Dan broke off the kiss and pushed him, his fall broken by a tree trunk. He panted, slightly winded by the unexpected blow. That was uncalled for! But then Dan slid a cool hand down the front of his trousers, and all other thoughts fled.
“Oh! This is a pleasant surprise,” Dan said, fingering Robin’s Prince Albert piercing in a way that made him whimper and push into Dan’s hand. “I think I’d better get a closer look.”
And when Dan sank down, unzipped Robin’s fly and exposed his aching prick to the cold night air, Robin needed the support of the tree behind him. Dan’s hot breath against the head of his cock made his knees buckle as he trembled with anticipation.
But Dan seemed determined to tease him, nuzzling, licking and touching him so gently it was an exquisite torture. Dan paid special attention to the piercing, and the way the ring moved under his tongue sent jolts of pleasure racing through Robin’s body. He gasped, his hands clawing at the bark. He had to stop himself from grabbing Dan’s hair and thrusting into his mouth. He wasn’t going to be that needy. He wasn’t that desperate. He wasn’t.
When Dan finally enveloped him in the moist heat of his mouth, Robin had to bite down on his hand to prevent a howl escaping. The relief that the torture was over barely registered—now he had to concentrate on not coming too fast. To hold back, to make it last. No matter how good. And oh, it was good. Dan knew what he was doing, taking him deep and making happy noises like Robin’s dick was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted.
COMMENT TO WIN: All comments during the Barging In blog tour will be entered into a prize draw for a 10?x7? signed and mounted print of my photograph of the Kennet and Avon canal, near Bath – as used on the cover of Barging In! What’s more, the stretch of canal shown here is the very part where Dan first crashes into Robin – ah, happy memories!
The more comments you leave, the more chances to win. Please remember to leave your email address in the body of the comment so I can get in touch with you. I’ll make the draw on 2nd October, 9pm GMT, so you have until then to leave your comments.