fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are
ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked
leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched
together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister
to Sinister Stitches
for a wicked fairy tale.”
breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are
schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With
this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the
same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically
tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted
a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to
challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the
fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the
fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New
Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s
beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits,
and rose to the occasion.)
of the questionnaire Sophie Avett’s
Undertaker (New Gotham Fairy Tale) lifted from Astrid’s
hand with a very shy smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches. [READER WARNING:
EXPLICIT LAUNGUAGE, ADULT THEMES, VERY FUNNNY. BEWARE.]
WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
name: Arn Grimm
Hair Length: [x] Short and
Sharp, [x] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Don’t bring the sexy here—I’m not wearing pants, and I’m not to be trusted.
(I’m kidding—I’m wearing pants.)
[ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [x] Other:
Actually, it’s more like the “Abdominal White Chocolate Snow Man.” Yeah, that
sounds dope. I like that. Next question…
measurements and body-type.
[X] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
man. And I have feelings.
“X” to all that apply.
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
Undead, [ ] Astral Form <It’s hella complicated.
Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more
details, the better.)
Someone has to babysit that titty baby.
haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
point in the evening?
shit, that IS my evening.
be setting other people on fire?
Actually, we don’t really let anyone do that. It’s kind of part of the family
that outfit out? (Basically,
who let you leave the crypt in those?)
- A Party City wizard hat – Stars glow in the
dark and everything—I’m too
hood right now.
- Black reaper robe, and a pair of red Converse. The
shoes belong to Nick, actually, that basic bitch threw mine over a
telephone wire. He’s fun like
boxers. Not sure if that matters. They’re Toy Story. That probably doesn’t
matter. But I don’t only have Toy Story ones. I have Aladdin ones, too…
has skeletons in their closet. But this Disney shit is original. Be grateful, I
brought you bitches magic.
(All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the
weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
doesn’t do it for most girls. Nick swears I’m gonna go to the grave a “fucking
cherry.” Probably. Ah, well…I don’t give a shit.
might get it twisted—put your clothes back on, girl. I don’t know you like
that. And even if I did, I ain’t fucking at the club, silly trick. Better yet, here,
have my sweater. Now, go on…take your fine ass back to school.
us plan for the unexpected.)
swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
tools, scrolls, and shit to bring back the dead AND I want a place for my
Gameboy. And my water guns. If I can’t bring my Gameboy or my guns, I’m not
going. Real shit.
why. I mean, not really. I think ‘cause she wears lots of purple.
anymore. House rules.
you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own
brilliant description in the “other” slot.
is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door
types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his
head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of
us. Our philosophers.
is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their
presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are
searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for
ass-kickings. Our protectors.
is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind
of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred
yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold
him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s
a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel
one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
Gargamel – Fuck ya’ll, I ain’t gotta lie to kick it. I surely do carry my ass
to school every single day. Billy Shakespeare, Ovid, and Sparknotes are my
shit. I don’t fight, I ain’t about that life—the only thing I hit is the bong
and the trigger. (Water gun, people. Water gun.) That being said—don’t push me,
‘cause I’ll for sure stomp that ass into a shallow grave. And no, I am NOT
Nick. I don’t have bitches lathering themselves in chocolate and hotdog
condiments at the very sight of me. I’m Arn the Undertaker. Deal.
hero, who would it be?
I can bring you bitches back to life doesn’t mean I will…
that out there. Enjoy the magic. It’s free.
many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Stitches’ Medieval Mistress
Dweyer presents Arn’s
is a vampire stalking you from the shadows of Sinister Stitches’ tearoom. Her
eyes are slanted, jaded amethyst glowing in the darkness. You can’t see her face,
but every cutting sweep of her long lashes is felt against your cheek. Seated
with miles of oil-black coils wound at her feet, she is clad in a black satin
pencil-skirt dress. Black stiletto catching the light and gleaming like a
silver stake. She uses the tip of her twisted bone wand to pull purple
tea-shades down her slender nose:
suits. We’re dressmak—oh, Twisted Threads is closed. *heavy sigh* Does that idiot ever actually work? My god, you’d think
torturing the unfortunate was his business, and tailoring was a side gig.
Anyways, I’m happy to see you’re alive and kicking. I know I probably put more
dead bodies on your list of things to do than anyone else working at Club
Brimstone once upon a time. Now, let’s get you something appropriate for Nick’s
court date. (I can’t believe he’s in trouble again. Like WOW, how are you two
cut. Think “Armani.” It’s a highly tailored, very clean and polished suit. Wide
shoulders, small waist—it creates severe, elegant lines. We did pad the
shoulders quite a bit to give you some balance. For fabrics, we spun a black
butterfly Cashmere blend. We also took the liberty of outfitting the silk inner
lining of the jacket with various, and fairly large, compartments. Gillian even
fastened your holsters for your water guns. Keep in mind that these pockets
were crafted using Void fabric. Anything you put in there will bend and fold in
that pocket of reality. However, anything that spills in there can and will
damage the seams. The last thing you want is a gremlin crawling out of your
pocket through a splice in the dimension.
most Italian jackets there is no vent—however, we did cut you one to allow for
greater freedom of movement. Your matching black trousers are also tailored and
form fitting. And Gillian fashioned you this crushable pork pie hat. It’s no
wizard hat, but it will give you that splash of originality. One that
absolutely suits you.
Gillian purchased your snake-eye cufflinks from Bits and Pieces. We recommend
pairing this outfit with a pair of patent slip-ons. Nothing too fancy. Frankly,
sweetie, you don’t need anything else.
BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews?
Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s
paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after
their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your
For the Muse Design