Josh disentangled himself from the covers and climbed onto Patrick’s bed, making Patrick yelp. He straddled him, using his hands in the darkness to feel where Patrick’s body was.
“You’re a terrible person,” Patrick gasped. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t had fantasies about this,” Josh whispered. “When you were a teenager, did you think about it? Lying in this bed, jerking off? Wishing some boy was here with you, sliding his hand into your pants—”
Josh mirrored his words with his hands, pushing under the waistband of Patrick’s pajama pants to feel him, hot and hardening under his fingers. Patrick’s breath hitched, and his hips came off the bed.
“You can’t tell me you didn’t think about it,” Josh murmured, hand circling Patrick’s cock. “Some boy who wanted you as much as you wanted him, who wanted to make you feel so good, to touch you until you moaned—”
“Fuck,” Patrick swore, pushing up into Josh’s fist.
It was so dark in the room, Josh couldn’t see him, could only feel him, the warmth of his body beneath him, the way he shuddered when Josh tightened his grip.
“Some boy who’d fuck you so hard, you’d feel it for days,” Josh breathed against Patrick’s cheek. “Who’d make you come so many times you wouldn’t be able to remember your own name.”
“My high school fantasies were not that vivid,” Patrick said, voice thin. “I didn’t have really in-depth knowledge of what boy-sex actually involved.”
“So maybe it was a little more innocent?” Josh said, stroking Patrick faster, enjoying the way Patrick’s muscles tightened. “Lots of kissing, touching you like this, maybe using his mouth?”
Patrick groaned, his hand grasping at Josh’s T-shirt and bringing him down to kiss him. His kisses were breathless and desperate, his grip strong. Josh bit at his lips and relished the way Patrick shivered as Josh slowed his strokes, teasing, taking his time.
“You’re not answering my questions,” Josh murmured.
“Of course, I thought about it,” Patrick said, hoarse. “I was a boy in high school, I—”
“What did he look like?” Josh asked. “This guy.”
Patrick’s eyelashes fluttered as Josh thumbed over his slit. “I don’t know. Taller than you, probably. And hotter.”
Josh stopped stroking, and Patrick collapsed onto the bed with a whine.
“That wasn’t very nice.”
“What do you want me to say, Josh?” Patrick said, his voice breaking. “That you were the boy I jerked off to in high school? Because you weren’t. But you’re sure as hell the boy I jerk off to now.”
Josh began stroking him again, leaning in to kiss at his neck, licking under his jawline and over his pulse.
“I think about you, about this, all the time,” Josh said, muffling his voice against Patrick’s skin. “I love how you feel in my hand, in my mouth, in my—”
“Fuck you,” Patrick panted. “I’m gonna come, and I can’t—”
Josh leaned down and kissed him, muffling Patrick’s groan as he spurted over Josh’s hand, hips stuttering. He caught Josh’s lower lip between his teeth before letting him go.
Josh felt dizzy, and crazy, and like he wanted to do this forever.
Patrick Mahoney has one goal in mind: get out of his native Fresno and find freedom in the rainbow and glitter-painted streets of San Francisco. As a college freshman, he’s sure he’ll finally have the chance to be himself, away from the judgmental eyes of his conservative hometown.
Josh Dirda’s never wanted to be tied down before, preferring the emotional ease of the one night stand. But when Patrick moves into the apartment that Josh shares with three friends, Josh is caught up in Patrick’s sly wit and quietly creative spirit. As Patrick’s self-appointed tour guide, Josh can be Patrick’s introduction to the city he loves. But after a drunken Halloween hook-up crosses lines, Patrick and Josh must reckon with their true feelings—and decide whether they can let go of the ghosts that haunt them.
Direct Link: https://www.natashawashington.com/books/
About Natasha Washington: Natasha Washington lives in Philadelphia, where she writes queer love stories in both YA (as Sonia Belasco) and romance. She has spent much of her professional life working with young people as a mentor, tutor, or therapist. When not writing, she is likely cooking, taking long, meandering walks, or listening to dance music or 90s hip-hop.