There is a boutique hiding out between the
fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are
ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked
leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched
together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister
witches.
fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are
ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked
leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched
together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister
witches.
Welcome
to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel
for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters
breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are
schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With
this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the
same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically
tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted
a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to
challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the
fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are
schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With
this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the
same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically
tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted
a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to
challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the
fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their
expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the
fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New
Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s
beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits,
and rose to the occasion.)
expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the
fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New
Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s
beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits,
and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some
of the questionnaire Sophie Avett’s
Arn from
Undertaker (New Gotham Fairy Tale) lifted from Astrid’s
hand with a very shy smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches. [READER WARNING:
EXPLICIT LAUNGUAGE, ADULT THEMES, VERY FUNNNY. BEWARE.]
of the questionnaire Sophie Avett’s
Arn from
Undertaker (New Gotham Fairy Tale) lifted from Astrid’s
hand with a very shy smile after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches. [READER WARNING:
EXPLICIT LAUNGUAGE, ADULT THEMES, VERY FUNNNY. BEWARE.]
THE
WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your
name: Arn Grimm
name: Arn Grimm
Please provide the witches with the
following:
following:
Hair Color: Blond
Hair Length: [x] Short and
Sharp, [x] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Kinda both short and shaggy. Not really sexy.
Don’t bring the sexy here—I’m not wearing pants, and I’m not to be trusted.
(I’m kidding—I’m wearing pants.)
Don’t bring the sexy here—I’m not wearing pants, and I’m not to be trusted.
(I’m kidding—I’m wearing pants.)
Eye Color: Blackish Blue – I know, it’s
weird.
weird.
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish, [X] Snow White MAN,
[ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [x] Other:
Actually, it’s more like the “Abdominal White Chocolate Snow Man.” Yeah, that
sounds dope. I like that. Next question…
[ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [x] Other:
Actually, it’s more like the “Abdominal White Chocolate Snow Man.” Yeah, that
sounds dope. I like that. Next question…
Please provide the witches with your
measurements and body-type.
measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6’1 ft
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal,
[X] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
[X] Lean and Tender, [ ] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe and Edible
By the way, I’m not a piece of meat. I’m a
man. And I have feelings.
man. And I have feelings.
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an
“X” to all that apply.
“X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
[x] HUGE cock – family curse. Weep for me,
bitches…
bitches…
How many heads do you have? (Your boy bit doesn’t count!)
One. (Most nights…)
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
(Arm + Leg) 2 = Yeah bitches, Algebra lives
here.
here.
How dead are you? [X] Living, [X]
Undead, [ ] Astral Form <It’s hella complicated.
Undead, [ ] Astral Form <It’s hella complicated.
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Necromancer/Headless Horseman (Yeah…I’m that
poor bastard.)
poor bastard.)
What is the occasion? (Ideas include:
Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more
details, the better.)
Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and seduction is a valid occasion. The more
details, the better.)
Nick’s Court Date.
Someone has to babysit that titty baby.
Someone has to babysit that titty baby.
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach,
haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
New Gotham City Hall
Will you be fighting for your life at some
point in the evening?
point in the evening?
I’m Club Brimstone’s ONLY necromancer—real
shit, that IS my evening.
shit, that IS my evening.
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you
be setting other people on fire?
be setting other people on fire?
Hellfire? Fuck me….yeah.
Probably.
Probably.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a
tailor’s tedium.)
tailor’s tedium.)
Fuck that, I’m a Grimm. We don’t do that.
Actually, we don’t really let anyone do that. It’s kind of part of the family
job description.
Actually, we don’t really let anyone do that. It’s kind of part of the family
job description.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked
that outfit out? (Basically,
who let you leave the crypt in those?)
that outfit out? (Basically,
who let you leave the crypt in those?)
- A Party City wizard hat – Stars glow in the
dark and everything—I’m too
hood right now. - Black reaper robe, and a pair of red Converse. The
shoes belong to Nick, actually, that basic bitch threw mine over a
telephone wire. He’s fun like
that.
Oh, and I’m wearing
boxers. Not sure if that matters. They’re Toy Story. That probably doesn’t
matter. But I don’t only have Toy Story ones. I have Aladdin ones, too…
boxers. Not sure if that matters. They’re Toy Story. That probably doesn’t
matter. But I don’t only have Toy Story ones. I have Aladdin ones, too…
Don’t judge. Everyone
has skeletons in their closet. But this Disney shit is original. Be grateful, I
brought you bitches magic.
has skeletons in their closet. But this Disney shit is original. Be grateful, I
brought you bitches magic.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the
evening?
(All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the
weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
evening?
(All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the
weres and shifters in regards to their transformations.)
Ha. No. Disney
doesn’t do it for most girls. Nick swears I’m gonna go to the grave a “fucking
cherry.” Probably. Ah, well…I don’t give a shit.
doesn’t do it for most girls. Nick swears I’m gonna go to the grave a “fucking
cherry.” Probably. Ah, well…I don’t give a shit.
I don’t know, I’m
kinda shy.
kinda shy.
BUT…
For anyone who
might get it twisted—put your clothes back on, girl. I don’t know you like
that. And even if I did, I ain’t fucking at the club, silly trick. Better yet, here,
have my sweater. Now, go on…take your fine ass back to school.
might get it twisted—put your clothes back on, girl. I don’t know you like
that. And even if I did, I ain’t fucking at the club, silly trick. Better yet, here,
have my sweater. Now, go on…take your fine ass back to school.
Shame, bitches.
Shame.
Shame.
Describe your last brush with Death in two
sentences. (Helps
us plan for the unexpected.)
sentences. (Helps
us plan for the unexpected.)
Buried alive. Oh, the irony….
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic
swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
swords? Guns and condoms? Eyeliner, maybe?
Yes. I need compartments. It takes a lot of
tools, scrolls, and shit to bring back the dead AND I want a place for my
Gameboy. And my water guns. If I can’t bring my Gameboy or my guns, I’m not
going. Real shit.
tools, scrolls, and shit to bring back the dead AND I want a place for my
Gameboy. And my water guns. If I can’t bring my Gameboy or my guns, I’m not
going. Real shit.
What are your three favorite colors?
Black, black, and…purple. Nah, I don’t know
why. I mean, not really. I think ‘cause she wears lots of purple.
why. I mean, not really. I think ‘cause she wears lots of purple.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
I can’t wear pink
anymore. House rules.
anymore. House rules.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies
you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own
brilliant description in the “other” slot.
you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own
brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This
is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door
types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his
head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of
us. Our philosophers.
is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door
types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his
head is in the clouds, but those dreams and that smile holds hope for all of
us. Our philosophers.
[ ] Beast King: This
is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their
presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are
searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for
ass-kickings. Our protectors.
is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their
presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are
searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for
ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[ ] Smooth Criminal: This
is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind
of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred
yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold
him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind
of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred
yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold
him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This
for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s
a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel
one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s
a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel
one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[X] Other: Ghetto
Gargamel – Fuck ya’ll, I ain’t gotta lie to kick it. I surely do carry my ass
to school every single day. Billy Shakespeare, Ovid, and Sparknotes are my
shit. I don’t fight, I ain’t about that life—the only thing I hit is the bong
and the trigger. (Water gun, people. Water gun.) That being said—don’t push me,
‘cause I’ll for sure stomp that ass into a shallow grave. And no, I am NOT
Nick. I don’t have bitches lathering themselves in chocolate and hotdog
condiments at the very sight of me. I’m Arn the Undertaker. Deal.
Gargamel – Fuck ya’ll, I ain’t gotta lie to kick it. I surely do carry my ass
to school every single day. Billy Shakespeare, Ovid, and Sparknotes are my
shit. I don’t fight, I ain’t about that life—the only thing I hit is the bong
and the trigger. (Water gun, people. Water gun.) That being said—don’t push me,
‘cause I’ll for sure stomp that ass into a shallow grave. And no, I am NOT
Nick. I don’t have bitches lathering themselves in chocolate and hotdog
condiments at the very sight of me. I’m Arn the Undertaker. Deal.
Who is your favorite comic/storybook villain?
Kneel before Emperor Zod.
If you could be any comic/storybook book
hero, who would it be?
hero, who would it be?
To be, or not to be? Doth that answer your
question, trick.
question, trick.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Her.
Anything else you’d like to add…
Don’t tell her that. I’m serious. Just ‘cause
I can bring you bitches back to life doesn’t mean I will…
I can bring you bitches back to life doesn’t mean I will…
Oh, and I scream like a girl. Just puttin’
that out there. Enjoy the magic. It’s free.
that out there. Enjoy the magic. It’s free.
After
many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister
Stitches’ Medieval Mistress
Stitches’ Medieval Mistress
Astrid
Dweyer presents Arn’s
Dweyer presents Arn’s
Completed
Threads
Threads
“Black
Magic”
Magic”
There
is a vampire stalking you from the shadows of Sinister Stitches’ tearoom. Her
eyes are slanted, jaded amethyst glowing in the darkness. You can’t see her face,
but every cutting sweep of her long lashes is felt against your cheek. Seated
with miles of oil-black coils wound at her feet, she is clad in a black satin
pencil-skirt dress. Black stiletto catching the light and gleaming like a
silver stake. She uses the tip of her twisted bone wand to pull purple
tea-shades down her slender nose:
is a vampire stalking you from the shadows of Sinister Stitches’ tearoom. Her
eyes are slanted, jaded amethyst glowing in the darkness. You can’t see her face,
but every cutting sweep of her long lashes is felt against your cheek. Seated
with miles of oil-black coils wound at her feet, she is clad in a black satin
pencil-skirt dress. Black stiletto catching the light and gleaming like a
silver stake. She uses the tip of her twisted bone wand to pull purple
tea-shades down her slender nose:
Arn? What are you doing here? You know we don’t make
suits. We’re dressmak—oh, Twisted Threads is closed. *heavy sigh* Does that idiot ever actually work? My god, you’d think
torturing the unfortunate was his business, and tailoring was a side gig.
Anyways, I’m happy to see you’re alive and kicking. I know I probably put more
dead bodies on your list of things to do than anyone else working at Club
Brimstone once upon a time. Now, let’s get you something appropriate for Nick’s
court date. (I can’t believe he’s in trouble again. Like WOW, how are you two
related?)
suits. We’re dressmak—oh, Twisted Threads is closed. *heavy sigh* Does that idiot ever actually work? My god, you’d think
torturing the unfortunate was his business, and tailoring was a side gig.
Anyways, I’m happy to see you’re alive and kicking. I know I probably put more
dead bodies on your list of things to do than anyone else working at Club
Brimstone once upon a time. Now, let’s get you something appropriate for Nick’s
court date. (I can’t believe he’s in trouble again. Like WOW, how are you two
related?)
For you, sugar, I recommended the “Italian” thin mancut. Think “Armani.” It’s a highly tailored, very clean and polished suit. Wide
shoulders, small waist—it creates severe, elegant lines. We did pad the
shoulders quite a bit to give you some balance. For fabrics, we spun a black
butterfly Cashmere blend. We also took the liberty of outfitting the silk inner
lining of the jacket with various, and fairly large, compartments. Gillian even
fastened your holsters for your water guns. Keep in mind that these pockets
were crafted using Void fabric. Anything you put in there will bend and fold in
that pocket of reality. However, anything that spills in there can and will
damage the seams. The last thing you want is a gremlin crawling out of your
pocket through a splice in the dimension.
Otherwise, expect notched, thick lapels. Also, in
most Italian jackets there is no vent—however, we did cut you one to allow for
greater freedom of movement. Your matching black trousers are also tailored and
form fitting. And Gillian fashioned you this crushable pork pie hat. It’s no
wizard hat, but it will give you that splash of originality. One that
absolutely suits you.
most Italian jackets there is no vent—however, we did cut you one to allow for
greater freedom of movement. Your matching black trousers are also tailored and
form fitting. And Gillian fashioned you this crushable pork pie hat. It’s no
wizard hat, but it will give you that splash of originality. One that
absolutely suits you.
Brenda threw in your Nevernight tea-shades, and
Gillian purchased your snake-eye cufflinks from Bits and Pieces. We recommend
pairing this outfit with a pair of patent slip-ons. Nothing too fancy. Frankly,
sweetie, you don’t need anything else.
Gillian purchased your snake-eye cufflinks from Bits and Pieces. We recommend
pairing this outfit with a pair of patent slip-ons. Nothing too fancy. Frankly,
sweetie, you don’t need anything else.
You’re in a class all your own.
IMPORTANT
BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches series, and recent releases, please check out her website. If you’re interested in signing up for Sophie Avett’s mailing list to receive a notification when Undertaker is released, please use the form here. Care to
check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews?
check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews?
Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s
paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after
their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
Fancy a
tour of New Gotham? Check out New Gotham’s Survival Guide! It might save your
life!
Image
Credit(s): catalin205
Credit(s): catalin205
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina,
For the Muse Design
For the Muse Design
Cry Wolf
A New Gotham Fairy Tale
Sophie Avett
Genre: Dark Fantasy Romance (MM/New Adult)
Publisher: Skeleton Key Publishing
Date of Publication: May 1, 2014
Number of pages: est. 22 pages
Word Count: est. 10, 000
Cover Artist: Elaina, For the Muse Design
Book Description:
There’s a wild animal on the loose in the black forests surrounding New Gotham…
Not that anyone cares.
Well, Peter doesn’t care.
Peter Ume is more interested in finding a way to alleviate the skull-numbing boredom of a city wide shut down. So far his ideas for excitement hover between stealing an unwary idiot’s underwear (soul works, too), setting someone’s eyebrows on fire, or stabbing the next person he meets in the eye with a hot French fry.
It turns out, he’ll be able to save assault and theft for a rainy day. As luck would have it, this naughty kitsune is about to meet the big bad wolf.
And man, is the wolf in for a surprise…
Warning: This story can be read as a standalone, but you will want to smack Sophie for it. (Or so the ravens have said.) So, do keep in mind that there is a part two. (And it will be a freebie. Sophie’s Pixies will carrier pigeon everyone more information soon.)
About the Author:
Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um…yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books–mostly Batman and Wonder Woman–dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists on laying it’s wet nose on top of her bare foot.
Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie–she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked–but, we’ll keep that bit between us.)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SophieAvett
Sinister Stitches Boutique Blog: http://sophieavettsinisterstitches.blogspot.com/
Newsletter Post-Its, the Blog: http://sophieavett.weebly.com/post-its-the-blog.html
Brimstone Pub, the Blog: http://thebrimstonepub.com/
*****
Merry Met Erotica For All: Thank you so much for hosting me! I hope you enjoyed Arn’s interview as much as I did. 🙂