Being Amy on shaky ground
So that’s me – Amy Aimee, which I’ve shortened to A. Aimee.
And here’s my question: How would it be to be unabashedly lovely and loving? How would it be?
How would it be to be unequivocally and amazingly lovely and loving? To just amp it up and pull all the stops out? And be that amazing something you know you already are? And not to be half-assed about it but to really let it out and let it fly. You know, your own natural, uninhibited goodness. Your own uncensored, spontaneous womanhood! Your unlimited potential for radiance and loveliness…
It makes you blush just to think about it, doesn’t it? You without all your inhibitions. You without all your insecurities. You without being ground down by everyone’s expectations including your own. Just you – allowing you, allowing yourself, to be in contact with, to feel and actually live the glorious power/divinity/beauty that’s inside you.
We’re on shaky ground here aren’t we?
And well yes, that’s my project.
To explore that, in life – and on paper.
My book “Good Pussy Bad Pussy” is an on-paper attempt to explore that… an on-paper expression of that. What does she – Rachel/my heroine and alter-ego – look like and feel like and act like when she’s coming from that space? How does it play out when you’re not sure about much but you feel the power is there… the intoxication… the drive… the impulse? I find it’s an intriguing idea. And yes, quite intoxicating. Whenever I think about it, I just get sucked into it. Drawn in. Feeling heady. Feeling high. Feeling well horny, the life juices flowing in me! Ambitious and absurd as it may seem/sound.
I don’t know why I’m inspired to do this, I just am. If you think it’s intriguing too, you might enjoy my book “Good Pussy Bad Pussy – Rachel’s Tale”. Interestingly, since I finished the first book, Rachel won’t let me go so I’m already working on book 2. She just keeps on writing through me…
PS: Maybe the Universe gave me this task/gift because my last name is Aimee, which means “the beloved”! Nice isn’t it? “The beloved”! Because isn’t exactly that what we all want to be… “the beloved”? And aren’t we that already, my beloved. You, me, all of us. The beloved?! And yes, that’s what the longing of my heart is telling me! Me the beloved! You the beloved – you, me, all of us! The beloved, everywhere. All the time. The deepest longing/loving of our hearts! To be now and forever, the beloved!
Excerpt from Good Pussy Bad Pussy – Rachel’s Tale by A. Aimee
When Rachel met Albert
Rachel ran off with her lover Stefan to the French Riviera, leaving her husband and 4-year-old son behind in Amsterdam. After they’d been there for 3 days, Stefan took Rachel to meet Albert who was his best friend, hero, mentor, and boss. In the limo on the way to dinner with Albert, Stefan whispers in Rachel’s ear that he wants her to do whatever Albert asks her to do. She is stunned by his request but all Stefan will say is “Don’t ask me why. If you really feel as you say about me, you’ll do what I ask.”
This was indeed an unexpected turn of events. Not what Rachel had imagined when she ran off with Stefan! She’d never been to bed with a man she didn’t know before. Just like that. And now it seemed to be happening… After they ate dinner, Albert sent Stefan off on some business errand and took Rachel back to his condominium.
Here’s what happened at Albert’s place:
“Albert had a condominium with a spectacular view of the coast. We were high up. From the balcony you could see forever. The evening was clear, the stars shining brightly. The same stars that shined down on my husband and child so far away. Suddenly all my bravado disappeared and I felt very small and lonely and wished piercingly that I was home again, safe from this adventure. The ache inside was hard and cold and I felt panic.
Albert came out on the balcony with a drink in his hand. “You must not catch cold my dear. Come inside.” I was positive he knew exactly what I was feeling.
Inside the space was bare, open, minimalistic. Almost Zen in nature and appearance. A single bonsai, exquisite and proud on a tiny polished black table. A large smooth round stone in the corner.
He put on some quiet music and took me in his arms to dance. He was teasing me, testing me, playing with me. There was something almost ruthless about his debonair manner. And even though I was trying to act cool, I was all fluttery inside.
“Why did you leave your husband for Stefan?” he asked me.
“Oh I don’t know… I just couldn’t help myself.”
“Ah…,” he said, “so the blood in your veins runs very hot, is that it?” He took my chin in his hands and forced me to look up at him. He examined my face slowly and smiled, not unkindly. I felt shy and full of strange desire at the same time. When he seemed satisfied, he led me over to one of the few armchairs in the sparely furnished room. It was a large and comfortable.
“Let’s see if you really are as warm as you are beautiful.”
He took off his jacket and loosened his tie.
“Make yourself comfortable Rachel.”
I sat down in the huge arm chair, my heart pounding in my chest.
He got down on his knees and positioned himself right between my legs. Then he leaned forward and kissed me on the mouth, slow and easy, just exploring. I didn’t feel aroused, only afraid. But there was no turning back now. I had chosen this myself. This was the real, raw adventure I’d been dreaming of.
But then I thought of Jan and the life I‘d left behind and my heart skipped a beat. Did I know what I was doing? Suddenly my old life seemed so much more attractive… or maybe I was just longing for the safety of the known. You could do the same thing with many men. What was the difference? And then there was our child! My son! Why hadn’t I seen it before? Did I have to lose him to realize how precious he was!
And what about Stefan? How could he just turn me over to another man like that, even if Albert was his mentor and hero? What was with him? What were they into? I shivered inside, realizing I didn’t have a clue as to what I’d gotten myself into.
At that very moment, Albert began fondling my nipples just firmly enough to excite me. I didn’t resist, nor did I participate. I just let it happen, as if I was watching him and myself from some far away place. This was such a new experience for me; being touched by a man I’d never met before. I didn’t quite know what to think or feel. But Albert was so powerful and attractive that I found it strangely thrilling to feel him touching me so I let myself settle back into the chair.
He understood my body language immediately because he let go of my nipples and lifted my legs expertly and placed them one on each arm of the chair so I was spread eagle before him. I stiffened in surprise, remembering I had no panties on. He went down on me, not waiting for my consent, but tasting me slowly and making me wet. Oh my God I thought… was this me? Was I really doing this?
But yes I was… and then…
Oh my, oh my…
I heard myself moaning at the thrill of his tongue touching me.
He was good… goodness was he good…
He removed his lips from me and put his fingers up me with a gentle firmness that bespoke a knowingness of women and years of experience. I gasped. He came up to me again and began kissing me on the mouth, keeping his fingers in me at the same time. I moaned as he kept on touching me knowingly, kissing me and bearing down on me. There was no resisting him now. And I felt myself opening even wider under his expert touch.
“You’re…” I mumbled not knowing how to react, confused by the intense pleasure I was feeling.
“I want to see you come,” he murmured in my ear, his fingers emerging slowly from inside me and again playing gently with my innermost lips, caressing them ever so softly. Ahh… The softness of his touch was exquisite, so exquisite. And he waited as I sighed even more deeply and he continued to caress me with such perfect gentleness until he knew that I wanted him too, wanted him to see me surrender completely to his touch.
Then he went down on me again, this time even more slowly, kissing my very wet pussy and doing things to me with his tongue that I’d never experienced before.
I heard myself gasping again with pleasure.
He was a man who could take me exactly where he wanted me to go. And he did. I was defenseless against the tide of liquid desire he released in me. And then I felt it; the confusion of emotions, the rush of ecstasy, the warmth, the wetness. I heard myself moaning and I grabbed his hair – I was nearing the point of no return. I cried out… shaking and trembling, exactly as he knew I would… exactly… and I was there, precisely where he wanted me to be… there as the tide of liquid desire swept me away… and I disappeared happily, ecstatically into the ecstasy of the most amazing, shuddering climax.
No man had ever made me feel like that before. Ever!
When I opened my eyes, my fingers were twisted in Albert’s hair. I would have pushed him away, but he didn’t give me time. He grabbed me and pulled me up. Now he too was aroused. There was no mistaking the hungry look on his aristocratic face, a look mixed with satisfaction. Now he wanted me too. He led me to the bedroom.
“Take off your dress.”
I did as he said. Trembling and bold at the same time.
He undressed and came to me on the low bed. I was wet and ready. He entered me and I gasped, not expecting him to be so hard. He held my hands down and rose above me. There was something strangely magnetic and powerful about him, something I’d never seen in any man before. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, my body bending to his will. He was approaching his climax.
“Tell me, do you want it?”
He looked me deep in the eyes, his gaze penetrating me.
When I didn’t answer, he said it again, “Tell me, do you want it?”
He had this intense, one-pointed quality about him and I felt myself being drawn into his passion.
“Yes,” I murmured softly, “yes.”
He thrust himself deeper into me. “Say please.”
And then he paused, breaking his rhythm and moving in me slowly and sensually until I felt that tide of liquid desire rising in me again. Oh my, oh my! Again!
“Say it!” He moved faster, deeper.
And I felt it; the liquid tide was gaining momentum – again – and moving, moving, moving… ready to sweep me away until I heard myself crying, “Yes please, please!”
And then he did sweep me away with a fierceness and intensity that did not stop until we both shuddered and came at exactly the same moment. Then he lay on top of me for a long time, his face turned away.
When at last he looked at me with those deep penetrating eyes of his, I felt so many strange emotions.
When I got back to our suite at the hotel, I was relieved that Stefan wasn’t there. I didn’t want to face him just then. I wanted to be alone. So much had happened. I needed to sort out my feelings. I had gone through so many changes in one evening. Albert said very little after his first explosion inside me, but there had been a change in him. After we lay still for a long while on the low bed, he made love to me again. But the second time was so different from the first, so tender and gentle, showing me another side of this incredible man. And later, when he drove me home with the wind in his face, he was silent and I liked him for it.
But by the time he left me at the door to the hotel, he was the same again as he was in the beginning.
“I hope our little princess has enjoyed herself,” he whispered in my ear and left.
When I got back to our suite, I closed the door and leaned against it, my legs trembled so. Then I went to the bedroom and lay down fully dressed on the bed, overwhelmed by what had just happened and by what I had just done. There was no denying it; this was the real raw adventure I’d been dreaming of, but what I hadn’t expected was that it would trigger such powerful emotions in me. Albert was such an incredible man. I’d never met anyone like him before and didn’t know what to feel or think. Our meeting had been so… Was this the beginning of my liberation or enslavement? Oh where oh where had good pussy bad pussy just taken me?
Good pussy bad pussy!
What was going on?
What was happening to me?
All I knew for sure was that I’d experienced a depth of passion I’d never tasted before – and with a man I’d only just met.
I didn’t know what to think and drifted off to sleep.
Much later I heard the bedroom door open and knew it was Stefan… “
Web site: www.goodpussybadpussy.com